Wanting to support your children does not stop when they reach adulthood. For many families, financial assistance continues well into their children’s twenties, thirties and beyond. While this support is often given with the best of intentions, it can quietly create pressure on your own financial position, particularly as retirement approaches.
Knowing when and how to set financial boundaries is not about withdrawing care or generosity. It is about protecting your long-term security, preserving healthy family relationships, and helping your children build confidence in their own independence.
Why financial boundaries matter
The first consideration is your own future. Providing ongoing financial support can reduce the assets and income available to fund your retirement years. Even modest, regular assistance can compound into a meaningful impact over time.
There is also a relational element. When support becomes expected rather than appreciated, resentment can creep in on both sides. Parents may feel taken for granted, while adult children may feel entitled or dependent, often without realising it.
Clear boundaries can support your children’s long-term wellbeing. Learning to manage money, absorb setbacks, and live within one’s means are important life skills. When the Bank of Mum and Dad is always available, those lessons can be delayed or avoided altogether.
Setting expectations early and clearly
One of the most common challenges families face is that expectations are never fully discussed. Adult children may assume support will continue, while parents quietly hope it will taper off on its own.
Open conversations help avoid misunderstandings. Be clear about what you are willing to help with, how long that support will last, and what you expect in return. Framing these discussions around shared goals, rather than rules, can make them more constructive and less emotionally charged.
When saying no is the right answer
Saying no can feel uncomfortable, especially after years of putting your children’s needs first. However, declining to provide financial support is not a failure of care.
In many cases, it is an act of support in itself. It reinforces that your role is a safety net, not an ongoing income source, and encourages your children to build resilience and self-reliance.
When adult children move back home
With rising living costs, it has become increasingly common for adult children to return to the family home. While this can be a practical solution, it works best when it is treated as a structured arrangement rather than an open-ended one.
Before the boxes arrive, discuss the purpose of the arrangement and agree on a plan. How long will they stay? What are they working towards? What contributions, financial or otherwise, will they make while living with you?
Setting timeframes and expectations from the outset helps maintain balance and reduces the risk of frustration building.
Supporting without over-extending yourself
Financial help does not always need to take the form of cash. Sometimes, alternative forms of support can be just as valuable while reducing the strain on your own finances.
This might include acting as a guarantor for a home loan, providing practical support such as childcare, or offering guidance and structure around budgeting and financial planning.
If you do decide to provide funds, consider whether a loan arrangement, rather than a gift, is more appropriate. This approach can preserve clarity and fairness, but it is important to understand any tax or Centrelink implications before proceeding.
Source: This article was originally published on Advisely with the title “Setting financial boundaries with your adult kids” on 11 December 2025.
Finding the right balance
Moving money out of cash can feel uncomfortable, particularly during periods of uncertainty. However, a well-considered strategy can help balance liquidity, growth, and risk, ensuring your money is working as hard as you are.
Contact us to review how your cash fits within your overall strategy, speak with one of our advisers to explore your options.
This information provided in this article is general advice only and has been prepared without taking into account your own objectives, financial situation or needs. Before making a financial decision based on this advice, you must consider whether it is appropriate in light of your own needs, objectives, and financial circumstances, and where relevant, obtain personal financial, taxation or legal advice. Where a financial product has been mentioned, you should obtain and read a copy of the Product Disclosure Statement (PDS) prior to making any decisions about whether to acquire a product.